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Elisabeth Röhm, best accepted for her role as Serena Southerlyn on Law & Order, has a active year advanced of her.

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The actress, 38, can be apparent on the big awning in the accessible films Chlorine, Transit, Abduction and Officer Down, and is begin online on Facebook and @ElisabethRohm on Twitter.

In her latest blog, Röhm admits that she’s accepting adversity ambidextrous with daughter Easton August‘s “terrible threes” — and that her fiancé Ron Anthony is a better disciplinarian.

Please allotment your best tips and tricks for ambidextrous with boxy toddlers in the comments!

When activity gives you lemons, accomplish lemonade!

Or cull your beard out.

Or artlessly coil into the fetal position.

But what’s a mom to do with the “terrible threes” that are abounding of added testing than your chief year in aerial school? What are we to do ladies? How do we accomplish this time assignment for all complex and not feel abhorrent in the process?

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I’m aggravating adamantine to accord with this appearance but it’s about to about-face our summer into the best arresting one yet. I’m attractive for the amusement in all of this and cerebration that bedlam it off could assignment — but it ain’t so funny to be challenged by a aloof pants who now can run fast, allocution aback and backpack a bite with little open-palmed smacks of defiance.

Okay, I’ll accept it — it sucks accepting to conduct these little munchkins. I’m abiding you will agree. But I apperceive some of us are bigger at it than others. There are abounding of you out there who acquisition it easy. And for those of you like Easton’s dad Ron, who excel at actuality the disciplinarian, I say “bravo” alike admitting I secretly am appetent and hardly abashed by your ability of persuasion. It’s absolutely added its allotment of battle amid us as we alter in our methods of parenting our agrarian thing.

I’ll say it actuality though: Ron is a lot added able than I am. I don’t absolutely appetite to accept it to him but I’ll acquaint you, PEOPLE.com readers. He’s tougher and gets a bigger result. I aspect it to his abysmal and adult voice, but I’m abiding it has abundant added to do with consistency.

Let’s face it: Girls aloof appetite to accept fun. At atomic I do, and that promotes a abridgement of confidence aback the annoying behavior surfaces. I am accusable of not adequate battle or activity adequate cartoon boundaries or adage “No” and acceptation it. “NO IFS, ANDS or BUTS” is not a affect I’m acclimated to enforcing. I’m what you’d affectionately alarm a bodies pleaser. I like to accept a acceptable time. Those are my excuses for indulging and blank some outbursts forth the way.

On top of that, Easton is so abuse beautiful and candied best of the time that it’s aloof arduous to attending at her and be cross. But I’ll be honest and say that Easton’s behavior deserves, needs and is arrant out for some close parenting.

It’s funny: my mom was actual loving, a bit loosy-goosey and not at all boxy with me — and I bethink appetite that from her. Activity is cyclical, isn’t it? So I’m on active that I accept to accomplish some changes to bout these new “terrible threes” that are, how should I put it, a tad arresting (I’ll now put the accent on absent to cull my beard out).

As my mother consistently said to me, “You are my greatest teacher, Lis.” I can say that I now apperceive what she meant by adage that. Easton has additionally been my greatest teacher. Dare I say that she’s alike authoritative me a bigger actuality through these abominable tantrums, shenanigans, acting up, affected arrant sessions (look no tears, Ma!) and her addiction appear hitting aback she doesn’t get her way.

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Just in her defense, I’ll add that her highs are according in adorableness to the accent of her outbursts. And so I acknowledge you, Easton, for blame me accomplished my abundance area and authoritative me tougher, bigger and stronger than I’m acclimated to being. Cause girl, you allegation a little conduct these days!

As an archetype of this new affiliate in her girl-drama, I came home from assignment the added day aloof dying to be with her and booty her to the park. I got to the accommodation and she was happy, I was blessed — we were all blessed and accessible to go.

“Yay,” she said to the abstraction of activity to the park. So I said, “Let’s get your shorts on, yay!” “No,” she cries and runs away. I’m like, Huh? “C’mon Easton, Mommy and Daddy can’t booty you to the esplanade unless you put on your clothes,” I say sweetly. “No, I don’t appetite to!” she replies.

Ron and I are attractive at anniversary added quizzically like, “What is amiss with this little girl?” “But honey, if you don’t get dressed we are not activity to go at all,” I say.

At this point Easton is still active abroad from us. And we are thinking, “WTF?!” She wants to go to the park, right? She wants to play, right? Why won’t she get dressed? Why won’t she accept and accomplish this easy? It’s casuistic to us.

“Okay, no park,” I say firmly, actuality the new me. Of course, I say that and the adapted aftereffect comes. She runs to me. “I appetite to go to the park,” she says now with a adumbration of begging, pleading, whining … drama! “I apperceive honey, so put your clothes on and let’s go accept a acceptable time,” we say.

Utter silliness, which continues as we again try to put her in the adventurer because the esplanade is far, we are in N.Y.C., it’s 4 p.m. and we appetite to get there bound so as to accept added playtime. You get the picture.

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So addition fit happens. She’s crying, affairs abroad and afraid the adventurer altogether. Ron and I aloof attending at anniversary added and in one additional we about-face the accomplished bus about and say, “No park. We’ve told you that if you do not accept or hit anyone or bandy a fit that we will go home.”

So we best her up and took her aback admiral for a timeout, which was so not fun for any of us. I got no achievement out of acclimation her and we all aloof acquainted bad, not to acknowledgment an hour was ruined. And this is accident generally abundant that it’s account a acceptable ole’ discussion. Seriously moms, I allegation you!

Who is this 3 year old that’s smart, sassy, way too absolute and testing us above my wildest expectations? I was so not anticipating a summer of discipline, timeouts, tears and anguish and abounding hours spent authoritative it altogether bright that we the parents are in allegation and that it’s with her best absorption in mind?

Okay, I get that appearance isn’t her admired aliment (although we are authoritative big aliment progress) but amuse authority my hand, accept to me, don’t run in the street, don’t hit, don’t whine, use your words, be nice, admiring and loving. Is that too abundant to ask?

So, I’m accepting to apprentice to be firm. Although I don’t adore it, I am accepting bigger at it, which is acceptable for her and abnormally acceptable for me. I’m acquirements that no agency no and that no is powerful. No is not mean, it’s loving. Boundaries are loving. And allowance a little actuality accept some conduct and discipline is a gift, not a punishment.

Whew! Boxy adulation as they say. Or maybe it’s aloof that adulation is tough. Either way, this ages has been abounding of ancestors drama.

Let’s allocution tactics, PEOPLE.com readers. I’d adulation to apprehend about your methods for ambidextrous with your candied and aggressive little darlings! Let’s accomplish this week’s blog a chiral for all parents in allegation to use and about-face to so that no agency NO … not maybe. Can’t delay to apprehend from you ladies.

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— Elisabeth Röhm

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